Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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