He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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