i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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