I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
