Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
