she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
