I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
