let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize