Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
