your room smells of hookers.
And success
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
