He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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