I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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