Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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