I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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