Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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