honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
