we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
