I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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