I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
