My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
