That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
