so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm both gender and math confused
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
