is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
