I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
