I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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