he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
