I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were trust falling into bushes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
