so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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