You really coming over, don't trick.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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