im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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