you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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