she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
