Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
