tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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