Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
