You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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