after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
