nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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