I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You can't special order awesome
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
