I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
