Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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