Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
