This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
