fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
