I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize