Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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