Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize