Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize