Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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