You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
