I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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