Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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