She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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