My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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