I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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