dude i'm inner monologue high
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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