If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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