remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
