Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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