I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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