I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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