This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
