I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
