Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
