I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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