I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.