Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.