she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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