you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
