You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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