Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
